Remember how much you wanted to have a baby? Children? (maybe a long time ago?) It was going to be amazing and you were going to be so happy together! However, after the baby arrived, she started to show thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and so much more you -to be really honest- never thought about having to deal with!
You’ve read self-help and parenting books, received advice (unsolicited at times), trying hard to be a good parent and do this parenting the ‘right’ way, because you love your child(-ren) dearly, and you want them to be happy, self-confident and resilient in life. Now, and also later. But it’s hard, and you’re feeling tired, busy, and under pressure. You’re tired of the arguing, the ongoing challenges, on how you yourself are being with them, saying or doing things to your children that don’t make you feel good at all, but ‘’what else can I do?’’
I hear you. It IS hard to look after your child (-ren), while looking after so many other things: your partner, family, friends, career, house, yourself(!)… the list can feel endless, and life overwhelming!
I believe parenthood is one of the most important, meaningful, wonderful yet most unprepared, underrated and challenging roles we will fulfill in our lifetime. Yet it also amplifies our own emotional wounds and personal struggles and how we deal with them, which now impacts the people we love most in this world too; our children. Parenting can become even a bigger struggle when your own family background brought you unhelpful beliefs, thoughts or behaviours -of which you might not even be fully aware of- adding to the current stress and frustration.
What if I told you there really is a way to parent effectively and lovingly, that both you and your child will enjoy, and makes you feel good about yourself? A way that you will find through self-love, self-care, (re-)connection with yourself and your child, kindness, empathy and standing in your own power so both your child and you grow into confident, resilient and joyful people?
How do you get started?
You can start by downloading the free guide 6 Steps to avoid a Battle with your child which shows you a way to honour your boundaries and build their self-confidence.
“Working with Elma has really been life-changing on how I am with the kids. I was so tired, busy and thinking “Where is the joy in this?” Since our sessions I’ve put my boundaries down and been sticking to them; No is no, instead of giving in. The workshops have given me awareness and so much understanding in my own behaviour and how it impacts the kids’ behaviour. It taught me patience, parenting through understanding and working together rather than telling them what to do, yelling and being confrontational. And it brought me much more enjoyment in being a parent, instead of feeling it to be constantly stressful, tiring and a battle of wills. Elma is very understanding and because she is a Mum herself she can relate to the challenges and issues we have in being parents. She’s not about telling you how to be a parent, but about helping you decide how you want to be as a parent for yourself. I’ve learned that I could be the parent I wanted to be and not having to be the parent I’m supposed to be. I don’t have to compare myself with other mums and try to be who they are. I can now be the Mum I want to be with my own values and this makes me so much happier as a Mum and as a person.“
Clare, Crossgar, mother of 2