Parenting your child, reparenting yourself
Heart of Parenting – I believe that at the heart of parenting is you, your child and the relationship you have together.
You, as the adult in that relationship, are the leader of the environment in which your relationship is formed. Your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, behaviours and triggers influence the emotional environment that your child grows up in, and how your child feels, behaves and reacts. Stress, shame and anxiety are contagious. So are calm, empathy and joy. Growing your own awareness, combined with taking care of yourself and your own needs first is key to staying in the driver seat of your own feelings and behaviours, and your ability looking after your child’s needs to help them grow into a self-confident, joyful and resilient adult. I offer you support finding your own way as a parent, doing what feels right to you and your family, and feeling calm and confident about it.
In my support I’m always guided by the following ingredients:
Connection – to yourself, your child and what’s important to you. What kind of parent do you want to be? (And I’m not asking your mother, your neighbour, your friend, etc here; just you :-)).
Emotional well-being & Empathy – for you to feel understood and accepted in your experience and feelings, and your child’s experience and feelings. To feel that you, and your child, are heard and seen. To help give you. and them, the tools to deal with any feeling that life offers you. To learn to trust yourself, know your worth, so you can teach them. I know you are a good person. A good person who sometimes makes mistakes or bad decisions. I know you are doing the best you can with the resources you have available to you at the moment. And I know that behind every behaviour of yours, and your child’s, lies a positive intention. That it’s an attempt -how ever aggressive or nasty- to express a feeling and fulfill a need. We can learn how to regulate our and their feelings. and look after our and their needs in a nurturing and loving way.
Fun & Play – To allow yourself and your child to feel safe and play. Not because you need to, should, have to, but solely because you want to and it brings you joy. However small and whatever that might be for you, or them. Separate or together. Because the opposite of fun is not work – it is depression (Stuart Brown).
The most precious gift that parents can give their children is their own happiness
Thich Nhat Hanh
I fully support LGBTQ families